I was 42 years old when I lost my father. He was only 67 and I can remember thinking he was way too young to die. I still needed the discernment of my father. My children still needed the training only their “Papa” could teach.
Three years later, I would lose my grandmother who longed to be with my daddy, who was her only child. I can remember thinking how much wisdom and experience my family was losing by having to say goodbye to not one but two key family members. It was a devastating blow after blow to my whole family to lose our older generation.
I saw even more devastation during the COVID crisis as it wiped out not just the older generation but the next generation in line and more. It showed no mercy as it stole years of knowledge and skills, and no family came out unscathed by its fury. Again, our older generation suffered the greatest losses and the impact of those losses is still being felt across generations today.
Sadly, our stressed-out society is still losing our older generation at an alarming rate and their knowledge is going with them to the grave. This is because so many stories haven’t been written down for the next generation and modern society doesn’t respect the knowledge tucked away in our elderly for our benefit.
Back in the day, more families opted to move their elderly in with them as the elderly needed assistance in their last days. But now many people opt to place their elderly in assisted living facilities or in nursing homes so someone else can care for their needs. I’m proud to say that my family has never believed that should be an option. My grandparents had always helped raise us kids on their farm along with my parents, so when they needed the help during their latter years, months and days, my mother and I gladly took care of them. We took care of my mother’s parents in their home in Yukon. Then we took care of my great grandmother in her home in OKC. And finally we took care of my father and my grandmother (on my dad’s side) in my home in Checotah. Though it was many years of self-sacrifice for our own families, we stayed and worked throughout the weeks and/or weekends to care for them all. We definitely gleaned from all the experiences too.
My mother (being the main caregiver) and I (being the secondary caregiver) got the privilege of lending a helping hand and loving them until their last breath here on this side of glory. Plus my children got the benefit of their knowledge and powerful presence in their lives until the day they received their heavenly reward. My children also learned that caring for their grandparents was a gift and a privilege.
Though I know it was hard on all of us to lose our older generation, I believe what we learned in the last stages of their lives truly taught us how to love and live on as part of their legacy. It made us pick up their mantles and carry on their traditions and stories, and hopefully we will become all the wiser to one day leave behind our own knowledge and stories for the next generation coming behind us.
